Working Too Much? 5 Habits for Recovering Workaholics
Keep reading this post to learn:
⋒ What it means and looks like to be a workaholic
⋒ My personal story of being a workaholic and what it took for me to start making changes
⋒ 5 habits you can implement today to start living a life that is peacefully productive
A little bit of a backstory on my own journey as a workaholic – ever since I can remember, I’ve been a high achiever. I’m an enneagram 3, literally called The Achiever, and it’s kind of built into my DNA to work hard.
This blog post is actually going to be a little more personal than most, because this topic is really near and dear to my heart.
Since I started working at age 19, I’ve been the type to go all in with work. I like to be the best at whatever job I’m doing. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still all about working with excellence, but the difference now is that I don’t find my worth and my identity in my work like I used to.
Pre-Hustle Sanely Jess didn’t know who she was outside of work and accomplishments. I would run myself into the ground to make my goals happen. I really struggled with tunnel vision – I’d run hard and fast toward all of my work goals, telling myself that I’d worry about taking care of my mental health and being present in my relationships when all my goals were done.
But the thing is, that never happened. When it comes to goals and to-do lists, they don’t ever go away. Almost all of us will carry open ended goals and to-do lists with us until our last day here on earth. Not even trying to be morbid – I’m just saying.
When you finally comprehend that you saying “I just have to get through this week then things will calm down” over and over again isn’t healthy and is actually driving you to burnout, you realize that it’s on you to make a change.
I’ve told this story before, but I’ll keep telling it because it was my turning point as a workaholic. It’s the point in my story when I knew I needed to make real changes.
My husband Adam and I have been together since I was 16 so he’s seen me work every job I’ve ever had. Well, in 2019 or 2020, I can’t remember, Adam and I were sitting on the couch at the end of the day spending time together and I thought it was an okay choice to grab my laptop to answer some customer service emails for Hustle Sanely. (ironic right – because I was in fact, not Hustling Sanely). The thought of me grabbing my laptop at like 8 or 9 pm when I’m supposed to be spending time with my husband after having already worked a full day makes me so sad to think about now.
Anyway, I’ll never forget when Adam turned to face me on the couch, my face illuminated by my laptop, and he said, “Jess, I feel like I get the crumbs of you that are leftover at the end of the day.”
I always say this when I tell that story but it was an actual suckerpunch to the gut. A true wake-up call.
That version of me thought that everything was an emergency when it came to work and that work had to take precedence over my life. My life truly did revolve around work. Work was my center and every choice I made was made in according to what was best for work.
But here’s the thing – even with work being my top priority, I still never feel like there was enough time in a day or week to accomplish my goals let alone make time for friends, family, or self-care. The worst part? I wasn’t sure that the things I was spending time on were actually productive or worth it. It felt like I was always chasing after tedious tasks and at the end of most days, I was exhausted and still felt like I had so much left to do.
After Adam said that to me, I knew something had to give. I had to make real lifestyle changes because my marriage and my mental health were suffering because of how I was living – letting work rule my life.
Skip ahead and many of you know this part of the story, I spent 2020 learning how to slow down. How to unhurry if you will. I read a book called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry and it changed my life. It inspired me to develop The 5 Keys to Hustling Sanely and change my whole approach to life and work.
And now my job as a peaceful productivity coach is to teach women with full lives the frameworks that I created for myself to help me pursue my goals while prioritizing my mental health and the important relationships in my life.
WON’T HE DO IT. I’m so grateful that God used Hustle Sanely, which started out as another job that stole all of my time and attention to redeem my workaholic tendencies and help support other recovering workaholics.
Seriously, I am so humbled that I am sitting here right this very minute writing a blog post to help people to take a step back from letting work rule their lives because me 5 years ago never would’ve thought it was possible for me. But I’ve spent the last few years building a peacefully productive life and it’s the best thing I could’ve ever done for myself and for my family.
And here’s the thing – I know my frameworks don’t just work for me. I know they work for others, too. I want to share a Hustle Sanely Win from a Hustle Sanely BFF. Her name is Rachel and she shared this in our FB group:
THIS IS WHY I DO THIS WORK SO PASSIONATELY! When I get to hear about hustle sanely helping you guys live peacefully productive lives I get so emotional in the best way. Again – God is just so cool and so redemptive.
Okay so now you have a little backstory on why this blog post is so near and dear to my heart and last thing before we get into the actual tips to help recovering workaholics – I want to encourage you.
Workaholic tendencies have probably been engrained in you for a long time… many years… maybe even a decade or more. That means that you have to be patient with yourself as you unlearn these tendencies and create new, healthy harmonies for your life.
Undoing workaholism takes practice. It’s going to feel uncomfortable at first because you’re so used to work dominating your life.
But just because something is your normal, doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for you.
I want to remind you that you matter because you’re a human. Your wrothiness doesn’t depend on your productivity or your accomplishments, okay? You don’t have to earn rest of taking care of yourself.
If you have a hard time unplugging from work or detaching your worth/identity from your accomplishments, I see you. I know it’s really hard to make changes but imagine what will happen if you don’t. I imagine what my life would be like now as a mom if I would’ve kept carrying on, working 10-12 hour days 6-7 days a week. I wouldn’t be present with my daughter. I wouldn’t be in a loving, supportive, healthy marriage, and I would feel like a shell of a human…spread really thin and running on E.
I’m so grateful that I am committed to doing the work to undo my workaholicness (no pun intended, lol) and design a healthier life for myself.
Thanks for listening to my story and my heart – the 5 habits I’m about to share with you are ones that I implement in my life and have been for a few years at this point, and I can say, they have made a massive impact in my journey to overcoming my workaholic tendencies.
Let’s get into them!
01: Use batching to structure your work when possible
Y’all have heard me talk about batching 1 million times on this podcast but that’s because I’ve seen the difference that it makes in me being able to get important stuff done in my business which in turn, sets me up to be more present when I’m off the clock.
The way I use batching in my business now looks a little different than it has in the past since I am working 3 days a week while Everly is little.
I have a whole episode on how I’m using batching in my business now that I’m only working 3 days a week – I’ll link it in the show notes if you really want to get into this one deeper but to summarize batching, you basically assign each day of the week a focus.
So for example:
Monday: Content creation
Tuesday: Product Development
Wednesday: Calls + Meetings
I love using batching because I’m able to get in the zone with a certain type of task and make good quality progress instead of trying to dip my hand in 50 different types of tasks a day and not really moving the needle on any of them.
I love batching because it gives everything that needs to be done in a typical week a home. I’m never wondering when something is going to get done because I know when during my week I’ll be focusing on certain types of tasks.
02: Have open loop time built into your schedule
I mentioned at the beginning of the episode that back in my workaholic days, I’d feel like I was constantly chasing task after task every day.
That’s because, if a task popped up, I’d treat it like an emergency – something that needed to be tended to that minute. The reality is, most tasks aren’t emergencies. They’re not urgent enough for you to stop everything you’re doing and try and fit them into your day BUT you’re so used to doing that, that you feel like you’re slacking or falling behind if you don’t.
I’m here to tell you the beauty of having a catch-all task list and building regular open-loop time into your schedule.
Here’s what that looks like for me:
I keep a running list of those tasks that pop up that need to be done but that don’t need to be done right now . I call it my Catch-All Task List. I like to keep mine separated into personal and professional categories and I house it in Notion.
I’ve shared about Notion before – it’s a platform I use to keep track of all of my life lists. I actually sell the template I use for my Catch-All Task list and other Hustle Sanely-ish things in our digital product shop (it’s a newer product) so I’ll link that here for you!
We do have quarterly Catch-All Task Lists built into our paper planners, too!
This is not a list that I look at every day. I check it 1-2 times a week – usually when I’m doing my Weekly Prep Meeting or when I’m doing my weekly open loop time.
My open loop time is on Fridays – Friday is a me day (I talked about that in last week’s episode) and I spend part of that time doing self-care and part of that time closing any open loops that I need to. I usually give myself 1-2 hours (depending on what else is going on that day) to dedicate toward completing tasks from my Catach-All Task Lists.
Knowing that I have this time every week to focus on doing these more tedious tasks, keeps me from feeling the need to interject them into my work days, when I’m typically working on things that are weightier and actually move the needle in my business AND it also helps keep me from feeling that workaholic tendency to pull my laptop out at night to “just do a few quick things” – I know that I have time to do that on Friday.
Highly recommend scheduling in some open loop time into your week! Or maybe a better fit for you would be using the last 30-45 minutes of each workday closing open loops rather than doing it once a week. Whatever works best for you – just have that intentional time dedicated to open loops so you don’t feel that need to be working all the time to close them.
03: Set work hours and phone hours
This is probably the easiest one to do but one of the hardest ones to be disciplined about.
Something I hear often in the entrepreneur space is “I love being able to work whenever I feel like it!” – And that’s great, love that for those people it works for! But I know myself, and if I have open-ended work hours, I will work all the time. Mostly because I really do love my job and get excited to work on my business but when I overwork, no matter how much I love what I do, I get burned out and neglect important things in my life.
So a good practice for me is having set work hours.
If you work a more traditional job, you probably have set work hours so that’s great!
(Little side note for teachers – working past your contract hours isn’t something you HAVE to do. You’re not being compensated for that. In fact, you’re actually paying to do it – paying in your time and energy. You’re a good teacher if you stick to your contract hours and spend your time off prioritizing filling your cup and spending time with your family – I’d argue that you’re a better teacher when you do this actually but that’s another episode for another day).
And if you’re a fellow entrepreneur, the cool thing is, you get to choose your work hours AND guess what else? They’re not set in stone forever. You can edit them to reflect your season of life.
Right now, my work hours are anytime between 6:30 AM-5 PM. I do not let myself work before 6:30 AM and I do not let myself work past 5 PM.
Now I am never working 6:30 AM-5 PM straight, lol. My typical work day is 10 AM - 4 PM Tuesdays-Thursdays. But I’m saying if I feel like jumping in the BFF FB group before I go to the gym at 7 AM then I will. Or if I’m wrapping up a coaching call after 4 PM that’s fine.
I just don’t allow myself to work outside of that window at all. Work hours are basically boundaries that I set for myself to keep me from reaching for my laptop at any given time.
And then I also find it helpful to set phone hours since I do a lot of my work from my phone.
I stay off my phone from 9 PM- one hour after I wake up. I just don’t touch my phone during those times. I keep my phone on Do Not Disturb from 9 PM-7 AM and it’s glorious.
It was hard to stick to my phone and work hours at first BUT I’m an adult and I am in control of my actions. I reminded myself that if I wanted to see changes, I had to make changes and that helped me stick to my phone hours.
Some other little bonus tips that go with the phone hours that helps me not be tempted to be on my phone past my phone hours: I don’t have any work-related notifications turned on on my phone and I don’t have my work email address linked to my email app on my phone – I can only check my work email on my laptop.
04: Set personal goals
During my heavy hustle culture/workaholic days, I rarely set personal goals because I was always so preoccupied with work-related goals. Now, I love setting goals outside of work because it gives me mind something else to focus on other than work.
I set one work-related focus goal and one personal focus goal each month and that really works well for me.
Some personal goals I’ve focused on recently are:
~ Redecorating our bedroom
~ Reading at least 300 pages of fiction a week (this keeps me from mindless scrolling on my phone)
~ Creating and following a budget
~ Creating a consistent date routine with my husband
When you have goals outside of work, it reminds you that there is more to life than work – it gets you excited to show up for other areas of your life. Chances are, if you’re a workaholic, you’re probably a high achiever so setting personal goals is something that will motivate you!
05: Practice a hobby and make plans for your days off
Another thing I used to believe during my hustle culture/workaholic days was that hobbies or having fun were a waste of time. What a sad mindset to live with, lol.
I LOVED reading as a kid-my early 20s but I literally stopped reading fiction books for a few years because I thought it was a waste of time since it wasn’t helping me hit work-related goals.
When I started re-designing my life and focusing on peaceful productivity, I thought about things that were fun to me and started scheduling time to do them in my life.
Some of my hobbies outside of work are:
~ Reading fiction
~ Playing pickleball
~ Paddleboarding
I look forward to doing these things and when I do them, they take my mind off of work and it helps me practice being present.
It sounds silly but it can feel like a challenge to practice a hobby if you’re used to doing nothing but work. You can feel like you have to “earn” enjoying your time off. You don’t though. You’re allowed to have fun even if your work to-do list isn’t all checked off.
When I schedule time to dedicate to my hobbies during my off days/hours from work, it holds me accountable to not working. I know as a recovering workaholic, how tempting it can be to grab your laptop if it’s your day off and you wake up without a game plan and you’re new to taking days off.
When I first started taking regular days off of work, I had to have something planned to get me out of the house and focus my time and energy on something.
Now, after a few years, I’m able to wake up and just enjoy my days off without a plan because I know how much beter of a human I am and how much better I feel now that I’m not a workaholic anymore.
But for real, in those early days, I totally needed a plan for my days off so that I wouldn’t feel restless and just cave into working on my laptop on the couch.
Okay, that is what I’ve got for y’all today – 5 habits for recovering workaholics!
To recap the habits:
01: Use batching to structure your work when possible
02: Have open loop time built into your schedule
03: Set work hours + Set phone hours
04: Set personal goals
05: Practice a hobby and make plans for your days off
I really hope this episode hit home for those of you who also identify as recovering workaholics. Remember that you are capable of making changes – it’s challenging but it’s worth it, I promise. 🫶🏻
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Loved this blog post? Tune into the full podcast episode below!
