5 Signs You're Too Busy
We're all busy, right? Our lives are full and we've got stuff to do. I get it! But there is such a thing as being TOO busy and it's a sure-fire way to end up burned out, overwhelmed, mentally exhausted or worse - all of the above.
Keep reading this post to learn:
⋒ 5 signs that you are too busy
⋒ What you can do about these signs
I want you to imagine a balloon before it’s blown up. Now imagine blowing air into it - it expands right? The walls of the balloon stretch further, making the balloon grow bigger. More air in the balloon = bigger balloon. As the balloon grows, you can tell when it’s being stretched to the point of popping. The color of the balloon becomes less opaque - it almost starts to look transparent.
That’s when you know to stop adding air - you can tell the balloon is at its max capacity.
So what happens if you disregard that capacity and continue to add air? The balloon pops - obviously. When the balloon pops, the air that you did put in the balloon is no longer in there anyway. So the work you did before overstepping the capacity is affected.
When you are seriously too busy - you are that popped balloon. You have to be aware and honor your capacity for what you can maintain when it comes to what’s on your plate.
It might look different in different seasons or stages of life but if you disregard your capacity, you are doing yourself (and those around you) a disservice. So yes, I’m going to share tips that help you navigate these signs of being too busy but here’s what it comes down to - you have to get real with yourself and define your priorities. Everything cannot be a priority. That negates the whole concept of what it means for something to be a priority.
So the root here - you have to get some stuff off of your plate if you want to be able to show up well for your life and operate from a place of peaceful productivity. You can’t expect your capacity to grow but instead you need to honor your capacity and focus on doing fewer things well instead of many things halfway, you know?
Alright so now let’s get into the signs of being too busy and what you can do about them:
01. You struggle to be present where your feet are.
Last week, we talked about being present to help lessen overwhelm. Well, when you’re too busy, it’s really dang hard to be present. Your brain is like an octopus - reaching and grabbing at all the things at once but not really giving anything true good quality attention.
What can this look like?
⋒ You have a hard time paying attention to people when they’re talking because you’re thinking about your to-do list.
⋒ You have a hard time remembering things - like conversations you had for example.
⋒ You live in multitask mode and can’t remember the last time you ate a meal without simultaneously answering emails.
Okay so what can you do to help?
⋒ Have a mindful morning routine to help you start the day from a place of grounded-ness and alignment - journaling and praying help me untangle my thoughts and decipher what is important and what is not.
⋒ Take a midday meditation break. For my lunch break, I go outside to get some fresh air and reset. Part of that is closing my eyes for 5ish minutes and just focusing on my breathing. Then after that, I spend 5-10 minutes praying. This practice recalibrates my headspace and prepares me to take ownership of the second half of my day rather than letting my day take ownership of me.
02. “I’ll be caught up next week/month/year.” is a phrase that is constantly part of your vocabulary.
Oh girl, this one hits hard because this is the place I used to do life from. I was a broken record:
When I finish grad school, then I’ll show up for my friendships.
When I get through this product launch, then I’ll make my marriage a priority.
When I finish the new website, then I’ll make sure to take a day off of work every week.
Those were things I used to think. Seriously. Now I shudder at those statements because the reality is, we don’t have all the time in the world. We are guaranteed tomorrow and neither are our loved ones - not trying to be morbid but just trying to help you understand that no goal that you’re working toward is worth sacrificing your mental health and relationships for.
Maybe your statements are something like:
When the kids start school, then I’ll take care of myself again.
When I get this promotion then I’ll make it a priority to have regular dinners with my mom.
We have got to nix the when/then mentality and make it a priority to live a peacefully productive life - even during busy seasons. If you need help with how to do that, go back and listen to episode 75 of the podcast.
But if you find yourself consistently saying that after ____________ THEN I’ll be caught up and be able to show up well for my life then you are too busy.
What can you do?
⋒ Protect your peace even in a busy season by keeping your non-negotiable priorities front and center. Be clear on what you need to do every day, week, and month to nurture your health (both mental and physical) and the important relationships in your life.
Knowing your non-negotiables and carrying them out is what equips us to thrive instead of just merely surviving every day, you know?
03. It’s hard for you to stay focused on something.
We kind of scratched the surface with this in number one when we said that you’re too busy when you struggle to be present and your mind wanders to your to-do list when someone is talking to you but let’s take it further.
When you’re too busy, it’s also a struggle to stay focused on your task at hand. So like when you’re working on something, you have a hard time carrying it out to the end without being tempted to task switch which just means to change between tasks without completing one. Oftentimes we do this because we see an alarming amount of tasks hanging out on our daily list so we feel the need to try and touch all of them as quickly as possible. But what that does is:
01. Causes you to operate from a frantic place
02. You end up not actually finishing anything
03. What you do finish, isn’t done well because you were double dipping with your energy
What can you do?
You know what I’m going to say don’t you? Narrow down your Focus 3 - what 3 tasks are the most important for you to get done? Give those your best time and energy. And then use time blocking to get a realistic idea of what your game plan is for that day.
You’ve got to remind yourself that it’s going to serve you more in the long run, to slow down, and give tasks attention to completion. Using Focus 3 and time blocking help me with this because even if I have a lot to get done, I know which tasks are the most important (Focus 3) and I know which tasks are being done when (time blocking). That frees up my mind from stress and I’m able to focus on each task at hand without worrying about other tasks. Make sense?
04. You struggle with decision fatigue. Aka making decisions (even small ones) stresses you out
This one is SO REAL, you guys. This is one of my red flags - I know that when I’m snippy or have an emotional breakdown over minuscule decisions that it usually means I’ve got way too much going on. Like I have legit cried over my husband asking me where I wanted to go get dinner before because I was just so tapped out on making decisions. Maybe you can relate, too. Decisions that are normally super easy for you to make or that really shouldn’t require a ton of brain power, like:
What to have for dinner or where to go for dinner
What to wear
Which route to take to Starbucks
Send you into a tailspin.
Decision fatigue is something that you may have never heard of but that you’ve experienced. The first time I ever heard someone use the phrase “decision fatigue” I was like OMG I KNOW THAT FEELING! So I’m going to tell you exactly what it is in case you’ve never heard of it:
“Decision fatigue is a psychological phenomenon surrounding a person’s ability or capacity to make decisions.”
The theory surrounding decision fatigue is that a human’s ability to make decisions can get worse after making many decisions, as their brain will be more fatigued. This fatigue applies to all decisions, not simply the large or more difficult ones.
It can help some people to think of the decision making ability as a finite source, such as a battery. Each decision reduces the charge of the battery, and the person has less energy available to make other decisions later on.
That definition of decision fatigue came from this article if you want to read more.
What can you do?
Lessen the number of decisions that you have to make in a day using routines and habits. Routines and habits set us up to know what to do without having to spend brain power figuring it out.
So examples: meal prepping - if you meal prep 1-2 times a week, you only have to make the decision of what to eat once or twice instead of like 10-15 times. Maybe part of your Sunday routine is picking out all of your outfits for the week so that you don’t have to think about what to wear 5-7 separate times but just have to
It’s kind of like batching your decision-making in a way to make it less overwhelming so you’re not having to make those decisions in the moment.
05. Your friends and family assume that you won’t be available when they ask.
I hate this one. So much. My driving force behind why I care so much about the work that I do through Hustle Sanely is this - you do not have to sacrifice your mental health and the important relationships in your life in order to pursue your dreams and goals. And let’s take that a step further. No goal is worth sacrificing either of those things either. Now I am fully aware that this is not what most productivity coaches are teaching. But I’m sure you know that I do not stand with unhealthy hustle culture. NO MA’AM.
Because here’s the truth - who wants to achieve their goals and be standing at the top of the mountain burnt out and all alone? NOT ME!
And let me tell ya, when I was in grad school pursuing my master’s in speech-language pathology, my relationships took a back seat. I was operating in the mindset that once I graduated THEN I’d show up for my people. Yikes. This is dangerous territory.
Maybe you’ve been there though - living in the when ________ then ________ cycle.
When I get this promotion THEN I’ll spend more time with my family.
When work slows down THEN I’ll make my marriage a priority.
When my kid start school then I’ll show up for my friends.
Then when/then cycle robs us from enjoying our seasons. It puts us in this frantic, rushing mentality and then when we do arrive, we have nothing left to pour out.
And you know what else it does? It depletes our loved ones of hope. When you say no enough to important celebrations and/or times of need because you have to work on x, y, z instead, guess what’s gonna happen? The invitations are going to stop coming i. Because your loved ones are going to feel like they don’t matter to you.
And let me ask you a real question - what even is life if we’re doing it alongside the people we love and cherish?
So what can you do?
I want to be clear here - I am not saying you have to say yes to everything, always. Boundaries are an important part of Hustling Sanely. But I am saying that you need to be very aware of who makes up your inner circle and make it a priority to show up for them consistently even when you’re in a busy season. Let them know that you are in a busy season. Ask for their help, encouragement, and support, but then show up for them, too.
Whether that looks like carving out monthly dates with your people or scheduling in weekly Facetime chats with them - you have got to choose to pour into your people no matter how busy you are. And if you can’t do that, then girl, you are TOO busy.
If you enjoyed this post, tune into episode 078 of The Hustle Sanely Podcast to listen into this topic:
