How to Create Routines That Don't Stress You Out
Do you want to run and hide when you think about routines? Little secret: when you create routines that actually support you, you should be saving time and energy - which frees you up to be present for the things that matter most! Stop copying other people's routines and figure out what actually works for you.
Keep reading this post to learn:
⋒ 5 steps to create routines that don’t stress you out
I am pretty passionate about teaching on goals, habits, and routines because as you know (or at least I hope you know because I say it all the time) how we spend our time is how we spend our lives!
I feel that by teaching you how to create habits and routines that align with your life vision, that I am equipping you to be a good steward of your time which causes you to show up well for your life and the people in it, ya know?
Today, we are zeroing in on how to create routines that support you instead of stress you out.
Y’all know how we do things around here - let’s start off by getting super clear on what routines are and what they’re not so we’re all on the same page.
A routine is a sequence of habits that you regularly do to accomplish a goal with the least amount of energy exerted.
When you create routines that actually support you, you should be saving time and energy - which frees you up to be present for the things that matter most.
Routines should:
- Support your season
- Be intentionally curated for you
- Make you feel calm/grounded
- And like we already mentioned, free up your time and energy
Routines should not:
- Feel like just another thing to do
- Be filled with ambiguous tasks
- Make you feel overwhelmed
- Box you in
Here’s what’s up - as your life shifts and your season changes, your routines should change with you. They’re not set in stone but need to evolve to support you.
I want you to be aware that you already have routines whether you realize it or not. They may be frantic, chaotic, or not align with your goals right now but they exist. Because remember, a routine is just a sequence of habits.
Example: Right now, maybe you come home from work, let your dog out, and plop down on the couch. You tell yourself you’re only gonna watch one episode of your fave show then go get a workout in. But usually, you wind up staying put on the couch, ordering Uber Eats, and scrolling Instagram until like 10 PM when you shuffle over to your bed and collapse for the rest of the night.
That’s a routine if it’s something you do consistently. You might not be stoked on it, but it’s still your routine.
So when do you need to create a routine? I wanna talk about this because I feel like a lot of people overcomplicate routines. They’re simple. And you don’t need 500 routines. You need a few, intentional routines that support you, okay?
You should consider creating a routine when you need transitional support in a certain part of your day. Think about which parts of your day feel clunky or chaotic. That’s when a routine would benefit you.
I want you to imagine a routine as a landing strip or a runway at an airport. Stay with me here. That runway gives the plane space to land smoothly. Space to transition from the sky to the ground without crashing into something.
A routine gives you the space to smoothly transition between certain parts of your day.
When you think about it like that, it’s not so intimidating, right? Routines are a bridge that get you from chaos to calm.
I’ve come up with a 5-step process to help you figure out where you need routines in your life and how to build those routines in a way that will support you instead of stress you out:
Step 01. Identify the parts of your day that are chaotic or clunky.
We already talked about this but just to recap, think about the parts of your day that stress you out or overwhelm you. Is it when you’re trying to leave for work? Is it when you get home from work? Is it when the kids get home from school? Is it your lunch break at work?
Zero in on the parts of your day that are just not peacefully productive, mmmk?
Step 02. Decide how you want that part of your day to feel.
So let’s say the part of your day that you felt was chaotic was leaving for work. Right now it feels frantic, rushed, and choppy. You’re barely making it out of the door on time, half the time, you have to turn around and go back home because you forgot your purse, ⅘ days you have a coffee stain on your shirt because you couldn’t find the lid that goes with your travel mug.
By the time you get to work, you’re already feeling frazzled and the day has only just begun.
Okaaaay so how do you want that part of your day to feel? How do you want your mornings before work to go?
Maybe you desire mornings that are a tad slower and more streamlined so you’re not spending 15 minutes looking for things like your purse and coffee mug lid. You imagine having 10 minutes to sit and journal after you get ready, you pour your coffee in the mug that has a lid sitting right next to it, grab your purse and keys, and head to work with a clear and peaceful mind.
That is not too much to ask.
So you want to go from chaotic, frantic, and unorganized to peaceful, slow, and streamlined.
Step 03. Call out the roadblocks that are keeping you from having your desired routine.
We’re gonna stick with that leaving for work example so I can explain what I mean here. A roadblock is exactly what it sounds like - what things are keeping you from living out that desired routine?
In that example, the roadblocks are:
- Not having enough time to journal
- Not being able to find a lid for the coffee mug
- Often forgetting items like your purse
Let’s do another example - let’s say your after school routine is chaotic AF. You pick up the kids, and as soon as you walk in the door, there are backpack explosions on the kitchen floor - papers, projects, pencils - you name it, it’s on the floor. You get super aggravated because when you’re trying to prep your kids’ snacks, you’re tripping on all the things while simultaneously yelling at the dog to stop licking the half open lunchbox that found its way to the pile on the floor.
It’s chaos, you’re yelling - at the kids and the dog, and it’s just not working for anyone.
The major roadblock here:
- The kids’ school stuff being all over the floor
Okay so that is step 3 - call out those roadblocks.
Step 04. Brainstorm solutions to the roadblocks.
Problem or problems: identified - so the next step is brainstorming solutions. But I want to encourage you here to be realistic with yourself as you do this. I want you to think of things that you can do right now to help remedy the roadblocks. Things that you are equipped to do or can quickly become equipped to do. Because remember - routines are not meant to stress you out. They are meant to support you!
Ask yourself: what can I do to make ________________ (your roadblock) less stressful?
So let’s use the 2 examples from before. The leaving for work frantically example had the following roadblocks:
- Not having enough time to journal ↓
Potential solution: wake up 15 minutes earlier
Guys - these solutions don’t have to be groundbreaking. They can and should be practical, okay? Don’t overthink this!
- Not being able to find a lid for the coffee mug ↓
Potential solution: buy 3 new travel coffee mugs with lids OR clean out your kitchen and find the missing lids for the mugs you have
My tip: choose the solution that has the least amount of resistance. If you’re trying to watch your spending, go the kitchen clean out route.
- Often forgetting items like your purse ↓
Potential solution: Have a home base for your grab and go items
And the chaotic after school routine had the roadblock:
- The kids’ school stuff being all over the floor ↓
Potential solution: Teach the kids to put their stuff in a certain space after school
Step 05. Set yourself up for success by implementing the solutions via habits.
I am breaking this down to make it as doable as possible for y’all so the next step is taking the solutions you brainstormed in step 4 and putting them into play.
The leaving for work frantically example had the following roadblocks:
- Not having enough time to journal ↓
Potential solution: wake up 15 minutes earlier ↓
Solution in action with habits: Go to bed 30 minutes earlier (I know you can shave off 30 minutes of TV or Instagram in the name of getting better sleep and being able to wake up and journal for your mental health, lol), set your journal somewhere that you are excited to sit and write WITH a pen (that way you’re not frantically looking for a pen in the morning)
- Not being able to find a lid for the coffee mug ↓
Potential solution: buy 3 new travel coffee mugs with lids OR clean out your kitchen and find the missing lids for the mugs you have ↓
Solution in action with habits: When you put your dishes away, put the lids on the coffee mugs so you never have a mug that is missing a lid.
BOOM. Simple solution, make a big difference in your mornings.
- Often forgetting items like your purse ↓
Potential solution: Have a home base for your grab and go items ↓
Solution in action with habits: When you get home from being out, put your purse, keys, and any other grab and go items in a designated space - like a bin or shelf or something.
And the chaotic after school routine had the roadblock:
- The kids’ school stuff being all over the floor ↓
Potential solution: Teach the kids to put their stuff in a certain space after school ↓
Solution in action with habits: Create the space you want the kids to put their stuff. Then come up with a plan to teach them about the space - tell them where it is, what the expectations are, and why y’all are doing this now (so mom doesn’t break her neck tripping on stuff and because it’s important for your home to feel peaceful - it’s a safe place for the whole fam). Get them involved in the cause - equip them to take ownership of the task. I’m not a mom yet but maybe you can spend a week or 2 really hyping up the kids when they put their stuff where it’s supposed to go by making a big deal about it - cheering them on, giving them popsicle or a high five, and thanking them for being a supportive helper for mom.
Based on the coaching work I’ve done, a lot of women want to make habits complicated. They don’t need to be! To figure out a habit that helps you reach your goal, ask yourself, “What daily or weekly step or steps can I do to make this goal happen?” That’s it!
Girl, I know it can be so tempting to curate these “looks good on paper or in an Instagram photo” over the top routines. But I am encouraging you to get rid of the idea that your routines have to be elaborate or aesthetic for them to be good. A good routine is one that supports you - one that helps you live your peacefully productive life!
If you enjoyed this post, tune into episode 079 of The Hustle Sanely Podcast to listen into this topic:
