How to Make Affirmations Work For You
“Jess, affirmations don’t work for me. What am I doing wrong?” — A DM that I get at least every other week, lol.
Let me tell you straight up that an affirmation isn’t some magic pill that makes all of your problems go away and makes your dreams easily attainable. An affirmation is a tool to help us redirect our thoughts and reframe how we perceive things…as in they can actually change things in your brain 🤯
If you really want to use affirmations to improve your life but you’re wondering why the heck they aren’t working for you — this episode is for you.
Keep reading this post to learn:
⋒ 3 things you can do to make affirmations work for you
We did a podcast episode on affirmations back in February diving into what affirmations are and how you can write them but I want to do a follow up today to answer this question specifically: “Why aren’t affirmations working for me?”
Let’s start with a little refresh on what affirmations are versus what they are not just so we’re all on the same page. If you’re in the Hustle Sanely BFF Membership, you know this is how I start off pretty much all of our coaching calls - definitions! So, what’s an affirmation?
“An affirmation is simply a positive statement that can help you challenge and overcome limiting thoughts, rooted in doubt and fear that are holding you back from showing up fully for your life. Think of them as speaking truth over yourself and your circumstances.”
Y’all have heard me say this 1 million times by now but:
Our beliefs become our thoughts.
Our thoughts become our words.
Our words become our actions.
Our actions make up our lives.
We have to take ownership of these things. It is our responsibility to speak life over ourselves. What we focus on grows. Think of speaking affirmations over your life like watering a garden to help it thrive! Using affirmations helps us shift and change our thought patterns which directly affects how we show up for our lives.
And now before we get into why affirmations aren’t working for you, let me tell you point blank what affirmations are not:
Affirmations aren’t some magic pill that are going to make your problems disappear. They’re not meant to make you put on rose colored glasses and subscribe to toxic positivity pretending that everything in your life is perfect and always goes accordingly to plan.
So if that’s what you’ve thought they were that’s probably why they’re not “working” for you.
K now that we’re all on the same wavelength as far as what affirmations are and aren’t why aren’t they working for you?
Real talk, I worded this in this way because it’s how the question is asked most of the time. But the truth is, I think it would be more beneficial to lean away from the mindset of affirmations “working versus not working” and lean into the mindset of “how can I use affirmations to support myself?” That’s just a more productive way to approach using affirmations.
I don’t believe that affirmations work or don’t work. That’s because I see affirmations as a tool to redirect thoughts. If you follow me over on Instagram, you might know that I recently started going back to therapy and my therapist is a fellow fan of using affirmations to redirect our thoughts. Affirmations are incredibly powerful if you use them strategically.
There are 3 steps, if you will, that I follow and that I teach my students to follow when we’re using affirmations and I’m going to walk you through them. And I’m gonna tell ya straight up - they aren’t rocket science, lol. I see that a lot of the time, people like to complicate things and that rings true for using affirmations, too. Listen. When it comes to this kind of stuff - and honestly almost everything I teach with Hustle Sanely - nothing is absolute truth. It’s all relative to you and your season and circumstances and preferences.
So sassy Jess checking in to tell you to stop hyper-focusing on whether or not you are doing something “right” or “wrong” and pay attention to how you feel when you’re doing it. How is it supporting you? What shifts do you need to make so that it supports you better? Everything I teach is a foundation. You’ve got to decide what kind of house you’re gonna build on it, cool? You are in the driver’s seat of your life, babe - not me! Trust yourself!
Okay so what are the 3 steps to help you use affirmations in a way that works?
01. Use affirmations that are specific to your situation and rooted in your values.
Okay, quick story: a few weeks ago, I was coaching inside The Hustle Sanely Program and one of my students, Maya, told me that the affirmations that are inside the program workbook just weren’t resonating with her. Do you wanna know what I told her? “That’s because they’re affirmations that you didn’t write so they probably don’t align with your values or they might not pack enough punch in response to what you’re directly experiencing and needing support in.”
A lightbulb went off in her mind and she went back and used the affirmations provided as a baseline to craft her own affirmations that spoke directly into her situation and that aligned with her values.
Anytime you see affirmations from others, like the ones in my Positive Affirmations e-book or one you see shared on Instagram, know that you’re allowed to change it up so that it supports you. They are base affirmations for you to build off of. I like to view affirmations that other people wrote as templates and I’d encourage you to do the same!
So back to Maya, she went to the program workbook and flipped open to the base affirmations that are provided and took one that deals with going from scarcity mindset to abundance mindset (because that’s what she needed support in) and built off of it to make it incredibly specific to how she was feeling, what support she was needing, and to be in alignment with her values.
She was blown away at the difference in the new affirmation that she wrote for herself and the impact that it had versus the base affirmation that was in the workbook.
So again, when you’re using affirmations, it’s so important for you to have an emotional connection to them and the way to do this is by writing them to be as specific to your situation as possible and root them in your values.
You know I’m all about providing y’all with concrete examples so let’s do one together.
A base affirmation might be: I am enough.
When you say that you might be like, “Yeah, cool okay.” but it doesn’t really hit your heart, if you know what I mean.
Think about the specifics of how you need to be supported. You’re feeling like you aren’t enough. In what areas of your life? At work? In your motherhood? Get specific!
So an example of a specific affirmation to support you in feeling like you’re enough when it comes to work might be: I am equipped to carry out the mission that is on my heart. The work that I do matters and is making a difference in women’s lives. I am capable of the work that I am called to do and trust that the Lord’s favor surrounds me.
I’m a follower of Jesus so the affirmations that I write and say are aligned with scripture because that’s what aligns with my personal values. That is actually an affirmation that I use when I feel like I’m not equipped to run Hustle Sanely.
Saying this affirmation doesn’t invalidate my feelings of doubt, but it reminds me where I want to focus.
Don’t think your affirmations need to be incredibly wordy or use flowery language to be impactful either. Speak from your heart when you craft your affirmations.
02. Speak your affirmations out loud and consistently.
In order for affirmations to “work” you have to ya know, use them. You can’t speak an affirmation once and expect a massive shift. You don’t go to the gym once and do squats and expect to wake up the next day with booty gains, right? It’s the same thing here.
Think about affirmations as personal hygiene for your mind.
You brush your teeth 2-3 times a day every day for maintenance, right? That’s what prevents you from getting cavities or gum disease. It’s the consistency over time that protects your teeth.
That’s how I like to think of affirmations - it’s like brushing your mind, lol. You’ve got to consistency speak your affirmations over your life if you want them to have a true, lasting impact on you.
I speak at least one affirmation every morning. I have a monthly anchor affirmation that is written on my monthly prep page in my journal and that’s the one I say every morning. I say it 3-4 times because I feel like the first time, I’m just saying words — I gotta get in the zone. By the third or fourth time, the weight of the words I’m saying really sinks in and resonates with me. I can feel a shift in my mind.
Then throughout the day, if I feel a limiting belief trying to take up residence in my mind, instead of letting myself spiral and stay there, I pull out the affirmations note that I have on my phone and speak one that supports me. Again, I’ll say it 3-4 times.
So again, step 2 to making affirmations work for you is speak them out loud and consistently.
03. Take action that is aligned with your affirmations.
Now this where we get into busting the myth that affirmations are some weird magical things that change your situation. Our words are powerful, 100%. We’ve made that clear. But what stems from your words? Your actions.
Y’all know how the saying goes...actions speak louder than words, right? When you speak an affirmation over yourself, you gotta walk the walk too. I like to call this taking aligned action.
So let’s talk about an example.
Let’s say your Focus Goal this month is feeding your body food that nourishes your body, gives you energy, and agrees with your digestion.
You can’t say, “I love my body and it is a privilege to nourish it with food that gives me energy and makes me feel my best.”
…and then go to McDonald’s and order a double Mac when you know that is gonna make your stomach bubble and make you feel sluggish.
That is not aligned action.
Aligned action is saying, “I love my body and it is a privilege to nourish it with food that gives me energy and makes me feel my best.”
Then choosing to get a bowl that is loaded with your fave sautéed veggies, grilled chicken, and sweet potato noodles.
Again, step 3 to making affirmations work for you is: Take action that is aligned with your affirmations.
So if you’re not doing these 3 things when you’re using affirmations, that could be why you feel affirmations aren’t “working” for you!
I really hope you leave this post feeling more confident when it comes to using affirmations in your life. They really can be powerful tools if you lean into them!
Looking for some base/template affirmations to get you started? I’ve got you covered:
If you enjoyed this post, tune into episode 107 of The Hustle Sanely Podcast to dive deeper into this topic:
