Are You Going After the Wrong Dream?
I wanna explore the question: ARE YOU GOING AFTER THE WRONG DREAM?
Kind of a weird question right? But think about it - I feel like since we have access to SO much of people through Instagram, YouTube, Facebook/ alllll the things, it’s easy to get really wrapped up in excitement for other people’s dreams and then without realizing it, start chasing their dream and thinking you’re working toward your own.
Real Talk Time:
I follow a lot of very inspiring, motivational women on socials. I adore their mission and value the content they create.
A lot of them are like top tier motivational speakers and authors.
So here’s what happened - I thought that I needed to do speaking gigs in order to be doing “it” - whatever that means.
I realized that I was running in a race that I didn’t even want to be in. My big goal is not to be a public figure. So why was I striving to build a large following/think that if i’m not having $50k-$100K course launches that I’m failing?
I realized that I had been tackled by comparison and hadn’t even realized that I was living in that place.
I let a scarcity mindset grab a hold of me when I was created to live in abundance.
What I mean by scarcity mindset is, I started panicking and thinking that I needed to create a course that was bringing to 6 figures a year right now. Or book speaking gigs. Or have 100K+ followers on IG.
I lost sight of what I really want my life to look like and allowed these things to invade my thoughts and control my moods. I started feeling burnt out and overwhelmed but so confused as to why. I KNEW what my dreams were and they really excited the heck out of me. But I didn’t realize that my daily actions weren’t actually aligning with working toward them. Like I said, I was putting my energy into wondering why my business didn’t look like these women who I follow and look up to on social media.
How did I figure out this was happening?
I wasn’t getting closer to my actual goals: which right now are creating a paper planner and then a little further down the road writing a book.
I was procrastinating on taking steps toward my actual goals because I was so consumed with wondering why my business didn’t look like that girl on Instagram’s.
Don’t allow yourself to be influenced by other people’s stuff. Be encouraged by it, yes. Inspired by it, yes. Cheer others on as you watch them thrive. But don’t look at them as if they’re a mirror.
You don’t have to want to write a book.
Or be a Top 50 Beachbody coach.
Or give a speech in front of thousands of people.
YOUR DREAM DOES NOT HAVE TO LOOK LIKE ANYONE ELSE’S. And you comparing the shape or size of your dream to another person’s is the least productive thing you can do, friend.
2 Questions You Can Ask Yourself to Check and Make Sure That You’re Pursuing the Right Dream:
01. Are you happy as you’re working toward the dream? Or are you burnt out and overwhelmed? If you’re feeling burnt out, make sure that you’re taking action steps that are moving the needle toward the places that you’re trying to go. Remember that whole direction over speed thing? It’s more important to go the right way as opposed to going fast the wrong way.
02. Do you find yourself looking at what other people are doing and feel the need to constantly alter what your dream looks like? If so, maybe you haven’t given yourself the space to get truly clear on what it is you’re trying to do. Set aside some time and really think about what it is your heart desires. It does not have to look like what you’ve seen anyone else do!
I’ve been doing a lot of sitting still and being patient the last few weeks (which is not my norm) and journaling out my responses to these kinds of questions. Heart work is hard work but dang do I feel so much more grounded and peaceful as I pursue my dreams.
An action step that I want to leave y’all with is this:
Challenge yourself to be a conscious and intentional consumer this week. Pay close attention to how you’re responding as you scroll through Instagram. We follow a lot of “public figure” type of business women and unintentionally compare ourselves to them. Check your mindset before you scroll socials! And remember: her dream has nothing to do with yours!
If you want to listen in on this conversation, tune into episode 007 of The Hustle Sanely Podcast: