How To Be More Positive
Y’all pop in my DMs sometimes and ask how I maintain such a positive perspective on life. Well I got something to tell you that surprises some people, but I actually used to be extremely negative. I KNOW...shocking, given my now bubbly, upbeat nature, right?
But I promise you, it hasn’t always been like this. My husband, Adam, actually called me out a few years back. He brought it to my attention that I was so prone to harping on life’s negative experiences and that it was taking away from the positive ones.
Talk about a reality check - when I thought about it like that - that I was allowing my negativity to steal my ability to fully relish in positive experiences I was like OH HECK NAH, we’ve gotta do something about this.
This was around the time that I started taking my mindfulness practices and morning routine more seriously. Y’all know that I don’t play around when it comes to mindfulness and my morning routine because creating a morning routine that worked for me really helped me make necessary mindset shifts to become more positive.
Here are 5 things you can do to be more positive:
1. Make it a priority to do unexpected acts of kindness for others.
Okay so “Do or say something kind for someone else'' isn't part of Hustle Sanely 5 for funzies! Which side note, if you’re like, “Umm what is Hustle Sanely 5?” GO HERE and you’ll learn everything you need to know about it!
Anyway, I’ve found that when I’m focusing less on ME and my current circumstances or situations and more on serving and loving others, it puts life into perspective. Seeing other people feel loved and cared for reminds us that life is so much bigger than our day to day bubble.
Now hear me out, I’m not saying that our triumphs and struggles aren’t valid - they totally are. I’m just saying that breaking away from our norm a little bit opens our eyes to the fact that the world is bigger than us. Not only that, but reaching out a hand to other people almost always makes my heart overflow which results in positivity.
I’ve heard a quote somewhere that said something like, “The best exercise for the heart is reaching out and lifting others up,” and it’s so true. Practice thinking about and serving others if you want to be a more positive person.
2. Filter what kind of things are filling your life.
The books you read, the shows you watch, the music and podcasts you listen to, the content you consume on social media, who you spend your time with, who you allow to speak into your life - these things matter so much!
Okay this kind of a silly example but I try my best to keep it real around here so I’m willing to share it anyway.
I used to watch the Real Housewives of Orange County A LOT. Don’t judge me. I stopped watching it for a few years because we got rid of cable. Anyway, I was flipping through Hulu a few weeks ago and saw it pop up so I clicked it and got sucked right back in. If you’re unfamiliar with the show, it’s just full of a group of women who are constantly arguing, putting one another down, and just all kinds of drama. For like 3 weeks, I had it playing in the background of my days - while I was working, doing dishes, doing my make-up, etc.
Me watching it literally brought 0 value to my life - in fact, I can honestly feel a shift in myself when I watch it. I feel like when I’m filling my mind and heart with that kind of stuff, that my thoughts and actions are influenced. I am snippier with my loved ones and I’m more prone to gossiping - it’s just not good.
Are the people you’re surrounding yourself with and the stuff that you’re consuming lifting you up or pushing you down? When I started to make shifts like reading books, following social media accounts, listening to podcasts, and having conversations with people that were uplifting and life-giving, being more positive started to become my norm.
3. Implement a meditation practice.
I used to cringe when I heard the word “meditation” because it seemed too far fetched, mythical, and just out of my element. I didn’t really understand what it was or how people did it. I was very stereotypical in my thinking: I thought meditation required at least an hour, that you had to sit on a big floor pillow with a gong next to you, and that if you didn’t make “om” sounds that you weren’t doing it right.
Now my thinking is more along the lines of meditation is a state of mind. You can meditate anywhere you want. You can have shoes on. You can sit on the floor or you can sit in a chair. You can chant or you can be silent. Your eyes can be open or you can close them. That stuff doesn’t matter as much.
Meditation, to me, is intentional time for quiet and reflection. It’s our opportunity to retreat from the chaos that can sometimes consume us in the form of to-do lists, appointments, and social obligations for a few moments. It’s a refresh and a reset button.
Since starting a daily meditation practice, I’ve found myself a lot more centered - which I know sounds very woo-woo but I’m just telling it like it is. Taking a few moments to focus on my breathing and set intentions for the day without the distraction of my phone or laptop has been crucial to putting me in a headspace that cultivates positivity.
And if you feel like you have no idea where to start when it comes to mediation, girl, I’ve been there. I have a blog post that shares my 3-minute meditation method here.
4. Explore your thoughts and pay attention to the language that you’re using.
Okay this goes for self-talk, that internal dialogue you have running through your head all the time, and the actual words that you speak from your mouth.
I don’t think there is such a thing as a negative person or a positive person. You are a person who has the choice to demonstrate either positive or negative behaviors. You’re not one or the other: positive or negative. You get to choose your actions. You get to choose which thoughts manifest as your words. You can put these things into practice and start viewing yourself as a person who is positive. That is the first step - shifting how you view yourself. If you view yourself as a person who chooses positive behaviors, you can start living that out.
I do this thing where I ask myself, “Would the kind of person I want to be do or say what I’m about to do or say?” So for example, if I want to be the kind of person who chooses to fuel her body with nutritious food, before I eat anything I can ask myself, “Would someone who fuels their body well eat this?” If the answer is NO (aka like it is when I’m holding a bag of tortilla chips and jar of salsa in my hand) then I need to ask myself, “Is it really important to me to be someone who fuels my body with nutritious food?”
No matter what the circumstances are - positive vs. negative, health vs. unhealthy - you’re not born one way and then stuck like that forever. You get to choose the habits and behaviors that you practice. So choose things that align with the kind of person that you want to be. If that happens to be more positive then, girl, choose positive habits and behaviors!
I encourage you to pay attention to how you are thinking and talking about people and experiences in your life.
5. Keep a gratitude journal.
I saved this one for last because I KNOW you knew it was coming. I mean c'mon, I have an entire podcast episode dedicated to gratitude journaling because it is THAT powerful. It’s episode 009: How a Gratitude Journal Will Change Your Life - in case you haven’t heard it click here! Acknowledging things that you’re grateful for by writing them down every morning really makes you feel silly for complaining over things when you have so many more things to be grateful for.
Plus, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - when you’re looking for things to be grateful, you find things to be grateful for! Ever since I started keeping a gratitude journal, I find myself thinking, “Oh yes totally writing this on my gratitude list tomorrow!” over little things like finding a new coffee creamer or having a good hair day.
Looking for a DAILY JOURNAL? I’ve got you:
Now here’s the deal - I want you to know that I don’t wake up pissing glitter every day or anything because of these 5 things. Some days I am totally grumpy. I still have moments when I snap at my husband. I still have moments when I gossip instead of speaking kindly of people. I still have to CHOOSE to be positive when my feet hit the floor every morning.
But doing these 5 things regularly really has made my natural inclination to gravitate to more positive behaviors.
If you enjoyed this post, you’ll love podcast episode 023 of THE HUSTLE SANELY PODCAST: