How to Know What’s Important When Everything Feels Important
Keep reading this post to learn:
⋒ How to identify what your glass balls vs your rubber balls are in this season of life
⋒ How to use the 5 Keys to Hustling Sanely to prioritize what is most important
⋒ How to set boundaries in order to live a life in alignment with your priorities
I want to give you some background info on how this topic came about. A Hustle Sanely BFF made this post in our Facebook community:
”So this might sound like a completely ridiculous question but how are others defining what their priorities are? I feel like everything is a priority and of course, that doesn’t work. For context, I am a senior manager at a tech company and my job is demanding but I still only work 40 ish hours a week. I have a six and eight-year-old, a husband, two dogs and my life is insane. AKA why I joined this community bc I still feel like this is where my people are and the only place where I can this question. Thank you!!”
OKAY FIRST OF ALL if I haven’t made it clear enough, I am truly obsessed with the Hustle Sanely BFF community – like how rad that we have a safe space that we can candidly have these types of conversations and that we have a community of over 350 women who we can go to for encouragement and advice, you know? You can learn more about the membership here!
That’s the cool thing about the membership – it’s not just me talking in there – the members have SO much wisdom and life experience to bring to the table and it’s incredible to be able to learn from so many different people in one place.
So how do we actually define what our priorities are?
Hopefully that language “define your priorities” – is ringing a bell because Key 3 to Hustling Sanely is Define Your Priorities. Let’s talk about priorities for a minute – the actual definition of priority is: “the fact or condition of being regarded or treated as more important.”
And I want to go a layer deeper and define important – “of great significance or value; likely to have a profound effect on success, survival, or well-being.”
Y’all have probably heard me say this before but if you view everything as important then nothing is actually important. Let that sink in.
If you view everything as important then you are actually deciding that nothing is important.
So it goes without saying that if you view everything as a priority then you are actually deciding that nothing is a priority. I don’t think I need to spend time convincing you that that’s true. I mean the person who asked this question literally said:
“I feel like everything is a priority and of course, that doesn’t work.”
Exactly… that doesn’t work. Because when we hold everything at equal value in our lives…the real important stuff winds up getting an exhausted, burned out, overwhelmed version of us. Something I think people tend to forget is that priorities aren’t set them and forget them. What’s a priority this year might not be a priority next year. Priorities ebb and flow as our lives change.
My favorite analogy when I’m teaching about priorities is one that I’ve shared here on the podcast before but it’s honestly so good and worth sharing again. Imagine everything in your life as a ball and you’re juggling them all. Like actually imagine the act of juggling…like a clown at a circus kind of juggling, lol.
~ The deadline that you have coming up in 2 months for a huge project at work is a ball.
~ Planning your best friend’s baby shower is a ball.
~ Volunteering at church once a month is a ball.
~ Going on a weekly date with your partner is a ball.
~ Spending one-on-one time with your kid is a ball.
Okay, you get it.
Here’s what we have to realize – some balls are glass while others are rubber.
Glass balls shatter and break when they’re dropped. That’s not good. Glass balls are urgent. Rubber balls bounce when they’re dropped. That’s not a big deal. Rubber balls might feel important to you but they’re not urgent when it comes down to it. I think you know which balls represent your true priorities – the glass ones.
It’s your job as the boss of your life to determine which balls are glass and which balls are rubber. And here’s the thing – a ball that may have been glass in one season of your life, could be a rubber ball in your current season of life.
Before becoming a mom, launching something new in my business every quarter was a glass ball. It was something that I planned other things around in order to make it happen. It wasn’t a question of if I was going to be able to launch something new, it was a question of what was launching that quarter. Keep in mind, when this was a glass ball, Hustle Sanely was a new business and I was still working on building its foundation. Now, launching something new every quarter in my business is a rubber ball. It’s just not that important in this season. I’m bringing in more than enough income to support my family without having to do a live launch of something every quarter.
Right now, in my current season of having a baby, spending as much quality time with her as I can is a glass ball. Creating family routines and traditions and learning how to be someone’s mom is my priority in this season. Now obviously I’m still showing up for work, doing things with excellence, and growing my company but it’s just at a slower pace because it’s a rubber ball in this season. I’ve turned down a handful of work-related opportunities because I know that if I said yes to too much at work right now, I’d drop my family glass ball.
Think about that analogy as we continue through this blog post. Be thinking about:
~ What are my glass balls in this season? What would break me to drop?
~ What are my rubber balls in this season? What isn’t that big of a deal to drop right now?
I’m gonna be honest with y’all – it would be very easy for me to say yes to every money-making opportunity because I am the main financial provider for my family. My work through Hustle Sanely is what puts a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. And being an entrepreneur means creating your own work, you know? I don’t have someone in a hierarchy above me signing off on a paycheck every week. Like it’s on me to create an income. So of course it’s hard to say no to opportunities that generate income like speaking at events, writing a book, and things like that. I had to make the decision that working 3.5 days a week until Everly starts pre-school is what reflects what’s important to me right now – which is spending as much time as possible with Everly while she’s home before she starts school.
That’s not to say growing my business and making money isn’t important. Of course it is.
So how did I determine what was the most important to me in this season when honestly it could be super easy for everything to feel important?
I used the glass and rubber ball analogy to help me realize that Everly is only a baby one time. I will never be able to get this time back with her. Whereas work will always be there. When Everly starts school and I have more capacity for work again, I’ll be able to say yes to more opportunities at a time like I used to. Right now, new work opportunities to me = a rubber ball.
I want to back up for a second and remind you what the point of The 5 Keys to Hustling Sanely is and what the keys are:
The 5 Keys to Hustling Sanely is a framework I created to teach high-achieving women, like you, how to trade running on fumes for living intentionally in every season. It’s possible for you to stop the constant hustle and pursue your goals while prioritizing your well-being and relationships…I promise!
The keys themselves are:
Key 01: Get your mindset right
Key 02: Get clear on your vision
Key 03: Define your priorities
Key 04: Create your routines and schedule
Key 05: Implement Hustle Sanely 5 every day
I’ve said this before and I’ll remind you again – the 5 Keys are meant to be done in order. The 5 Keys framework doesn’t function properly if you leapfrog over certain keys. You have to start at Key 01 and work your way to Key 05. So that being said, before we can do Key 03, which is defining our priorities, we have to back up and make sure we have Keys 01 and 02 on lock.
It’s gonna be super difficult to properly define your priorities if your mindset is trash and your vision is murky.
Key 01 to Hustling Sanely is to get your mindset right.
Our mindset is how we think and speak about our lives. Are you saying things like “my life is insane,” “I have no time for myself,” “Ugh must be nice for so and so to have the option to work from home,” or “I’m unorganized so things will always feel chaotic for me.”? If these are the kinds of things you’re speaking over your life, then that’s how your life is going to be.
Shift your thoughts and words to mirror the life you desire.
Instead of “my life is insane” how about “my life is full right now and I’m grateful that I have the ability to choose how I’m going to show up for each thing.”
It’s the whole choose your hard thing – letting life happen to you is really freaking hard and choosing to do the mindset work required to take ownership of your life is really freaking hard but I’d choose that hard over letting life happen to me all day every day. I’m a big advocate of encouraging people to step up to the plate and take ownership of their lives. We can’t control everything but can control certain things so focus on those things.
How you’re speaking.
What you’re consuming.
Who you’re spending free time with.
The habits you keep or break.
Reclaim agency over your life and experience everything shift.
Key 02 to Hustling Sanely is “get clear on your vision”
Once you’ve got your mindset right, this is the next step for determining what’s important when everything feels important.
Get clear on your vision for this season of your life.
I think people get scared of getting clear on their vision because it feels too big – which can feel daunting. I’m not telling you to do that. I’m telling you to think about the next 3 months. Sit down and brain-dump everything that you’ve got going on for the next 3 months: life changes, work projects, personal events, goals that you’re working toward, etc. so you can see it all laid out in front of you. Now I want you to do an exercise that I call Your Life Vision Map – this exercise is in Peacefully Productive Planners because I believe in it THAT much.
What you do is for each life category, jot down 1-3 things that are important to you for that category in this season. Here are the categories I use and that are built into our planners:
~ Relationships & family
~ Health & wellness
~ Mental health & self-care
~ Work & education
~ Finances & giving
~ Home & living spaces
That is your vision for this season of your life! Because I know y’all love a concrete example, I’ll list 1 thing from each category that is important in my current season of life:
~ Relationships & family:
+ Spending the majority of my week with Everly
~ Health & wellness
+ Incorporate 30 minutes of movement in each day
~ Mental health & self-care
+ Morning and evening journaling each day
~ Work & education
+ Focus my best work energy on pouring into the BFF membership
~ Finances & giving
+ Sticking to our monthly giving goal
~ Home & living spaces
+ Update our bedroom decor
Now we can dig into Key 03 which is “define your priorities”
I teach a 4-step process for defining your priorities inside the Hustle Sanely Kickstart course that I’m gonna share with you today:
Step 01: Determine your non-negotiables.
Use the life map you just created to help you determine what is non-negotiable for you in this season. I like to divide my non-negotiables into things I do daily, weekly, monthly, and other (so like quarterly or yearly or whatever).
Some examples from my life:
Daily non-negotiables:
+ Journaling
Weekly non-negotiables:
+ Date with my husband
Monthly non-negotiables:
+ Girls’ night
Other:
+ Going to church 2x a month
+ Practicing 3.5 day work weeks
Step 02: Design habits and routines that enable you to easily show up for your non-negotiables.
Routines set you up for success – they make it to where you don’t need brain power to figure out how you’re going to show up for your non-negotiables.
~ I have a morning routine designed to accommodate my non-negotiable of journaling.
~ We have a weekly routine designed to accommodate our date – we know our date is happening on Sunday.
~ I have a monthly routine set up for girls’ night – the last Thursday of every month, my group of girlfriends rotate whose house we are going to for some quality time together.
I don’t have to think about these things happening in my life because they’re built into my life thanks to routines.
Step 03: Identify & Remedy Major Stressors
My way of teaching this is call out whatever is causing you stress and then decide whether you plan to solve it, get support with it, or let it go.
Stress robs us of our energy that we need to show up for our priorities.
So an example of this might be:
Stressor: you’re running late for work 2-3 days a week because you’re trying to cram too much into your mornings
Action is to solve it by waking up 20 minutes earlier or moving your morning reading time to before bed instead.
Step 04: Create Boundaries to protect your priorities
It’s no secret that I’m a big fan of boundaries. Boundaries help us protect our priorities. I use my non-negotiables as a filter to run everything through. If something goes against my non-negotiables, I create a boundary.
There’s actually a whole training on boundaries in the Hustle Sanely digital product shop from our October coaching call inside the BFF Membership. You can download that here!
Alright, y’all that is what I’ve got for you today – how to know what’s important when everything feels important. I hope this post encouraged you and met you where you’re at.
Don’t forget to join our email list if you haven’t already so you can stay up to date with all the goodness that is going on in the Hustle Sanely community for the rest of this year and heading into next year!
I’m truly so grateful for the community we’ve created together and I am believing that 2024 is going to be a year of peaceful productivity for us!
Join us for our Best Year Ever Workshop!
The Best Year Ever Workshop is a free 3-day workshop that I host to help you set yourself up for the best year ever 🎉
I walk you through tips for setting up the pages behind the “5 Keys” tab in your planner!
Loved this blog post? Tune into the full podcast episode below!
