Realistic Self-Care Ideas for Moms
Keep reading this post to learn:
⋒ What self-care *actually* is
⋒ Why self-care is important, especially as a mom
⋒ 6 tangible ways to take care of yourself as a mom
TBH, I love a good theme and since May is when we celebrate Mother’s Day, I wanted to do a “For the Moms” series here on the podcast/blog this month but most of these ideas are applicable to any woman with a full life 🫶🏻
Before we dive into the actual self-care ideas, I want to get us all on the same page about self-care.
I define self-care as anything that improves my overall well-being – so things that support my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
The most simple way to put it – self-care is prioritizing habits and routines that make you feel like the healthiest version of yourself.
Now here’s the thing with that – the healthiest version of you is going to look different in different seasons of your life.
How I take care of myself now, as a mom with an almost 1.5-year-old, looks different than how I took care of myself as a mom of a newborn, when I was pregnant, or before I became a mom.
Listen… there is no wrong way to practice self-care unless you just don’t.
I truly do believe that self-care is non-negotiable for everyone. Because self-care, paired with proper rest, is what keeps us grounded. It’s what helps us from burning out. From feeling like we’ve lost ourselves in motherhood.
It’s a cute and catchy little quote but self-care really isn’t selfish… however, I’d argue that neglecting your well-being is selfish because when we do that, our loved ones get the spread too thin, running on empty, gnarly version of us.
I get it – taking care of yourself when you’re a mom isn’t always the most convenient thing. It takes more planning and intentionality. But it’s important because speaking for myself here, I am the best mom when I prioritize self-care. I don’t feel guilty for taking care of myself because if I don’t, my daughter gets the impatient, exhausted, not mentally present version of me and she deserves better than that.
And also, I want her to grow up seeing me practice self-care so that burnout and hustle culture aren’t normal to her.
When I decided I wanted to become a mom, I also decided that I was still committed to prioritizing my own well-being as a person — because it doesn’t have to be either/or.
Being someone’s mom requires me to be the healthiest version of myself.
Because if I let myself run on fumes, not a single person is winning (especially not me, my daughter, or my husband). Like I said a minute ago, self-care looks different since becoming a mom which makes sense because it’s a new season. But looking different doesn’t mean non-existent.
Scheduling self-care as a mom is a non-negotiable because I want Everly to get the best version of me. And I also want it to be normal to her to prioritize her own well-being… no burnout/hustle culture vibes tainting my girl’s childhood, you know?
Okay so now that we’re on the same page about what self-care is and why it’s important, before I give you some realistic self-care tips for moms, I want you to hear my heart – because since starting to share motherhood content online, I’ve quickly learned that it can be a very touchy topic to talk about. And right out of the gate, I want you to know that I am not telling you that you’re doing a bad job or that you need to add another thing to your to-do list. My heart behind this post is to get your wheels turning so you can start regularly practicing self-care… because you are worthy of prioritizing your well-being.
Like I always say, as you listen to this episode, take what works for you, make tweaks where you need to, and throw out what doesn’t support you right now. As you read these tips, think about your season of motherhood and be willing to meet yourself where you’re at.
You are a good mom.
You were chosen to be your kid’s mom on purpose.
How you show up each day is shaping your kids’ childhood experience, yes, but it’s also shaping your motherhood experience… don’t forget that!
You deserve to be healthy and thriving.
You know yourself best. You know what kinds of things will support you in your season… and if you feel like you don’t know, start by getting still and asking, “How am I feeling right now? What is one small thing I can do in this moment to make me feel like I am loving on myself?”
Alright, let’s get into the actual self-care ideas, shall we? And I’m gonna give you a spoiler – I’m sharing 6 ideas and numbers 3 and 6 are my personal faves.
6 Realistic Self-Care Ideas for Moms
01: Give yourself 10-30 solo minutes in the morning.
I don’t know about you but if I wake up at the same time as Everly, the day feels a little too fast-paced for me. I need a moment to myself first thing… maybe it’s because I’m an introvert and I need to start my day by filling up my solo time tank, lol.
I think when people think about morning routines, they think of these long, elaborate situations. That doesn’t have to be your morning routine vibe if you don’t want it to be. I think 15 intentional minutes in the morning can be powerful. I wake up about an hour before Everly (she gets up between 7-7:30 and I get up around 6/6:15) and make my decaf coffee + collagen, journal + pray, and then read my daily devotional – this usually takes me around 30 minutes and I truly feel like me doing these things is equivalent to giving my mind a lil hug to start off the day.
Some mornings, I have time to read a few pages of a personal development book and some of my current fiction read, too, before Evvy wakes up. But my morning non-negotiable to fill me up so I can show up well for the day is my journaling + prayer practice.
Now, if for some reason, it’s a weird day and Everly wakes up early, I have a little bin of activities that I don’t let her play with on the regular. I call it her “morning bin” and I reserve those toys for her to play with for if she wakes up before I can get my journaling done. That way, she has something to do for 10 minutes and I can spend 10 minutes journaling.
So think about what would make you feel like you are filling up your tank for the day first thing in the morning.
Is it standing on your back patio and sipping a hot cup of coffee in silence?
Is it watching a YouTube video while you walk on your treadmill?
Is it cozying up in your favorite reading chair and reading a chapter or 2 while enjoying some matcha?
You get to decide what you do. And guess what? It doesn’t even have to be the same thing every day! Just give yourself a few solo minutes to get grounded before the day gets rolling.
02: Practice daily grounding and/or breathwork.
Speaking of grounding, my next realistic self-care idea is practicing daily grounding and/or breathwork.
I’ve talked about this combo before on the show but it’s been one of my favorite ways to practice self-care, especially since becoming a mom because it doesn’t take a lot of time or effort and it’s something that I can do with Everly.
So I literally just walk out into the backyard and stand or sit in the grass without shoes on (the point of grounding is to make barefoot contact with the earth) and do 3-5 rounds of the following:
Breathe in through my nose, hold for a second, breathe in a little deeper, hold for 2 seconds, breathe out through my mouth.
It literally takes less than 3 minutes and I can do it with Everly crawling all over me or most of the time, she’s running around playing with stuff in the backyard.
I won’t get into all the science behind grounding and breathwork – because I did that in episode 214 of the Hustle Sanely Podcast in case you do want to nerd out with me, but just know that both of these habits have such stellar benefits for your mental health!
Next up is one of my favorites:
03: Elevate everyday experiences with self-care sprinkles.
Sometimes the phrase “self-care” stresses moms out because people think that means they have to add something else to their to-do list. That’s not always the case. If you’re in a season where you don’t have a ton of solo time – maybe you have a newborn – think about how you can elevate day-to-day things that you’re doing anyway.
Here are some examples from my own life:
~ I love taking vibey showers… I’m gonna shower anyway so why not bring an iced coffee in there with me and watch a YouTube video while I’m washing my armpits and shaving my legs, ya know? Self-care sprinkles.
~ On my work days, I’ll be working on my laptop, so why not get some steps in while I work by walking on my walking pad? Self-care sprinkle.
~ I eat lunch every day, so why not eat outside and enjoy some sunshine, too? Self-care sprinkle.
See what I mean? Self-care doesn’t have to just be this compartmentalized thing. You can add some self-care sprinkles into your life by elevating everyday experiences.
04: Go on a walk.
This one is so simple and so underrated. It’s another one that you can do with your kid or kids in tow.
Adam and I go on a family walk just about every day with Everly and I definitely consider it part of my self-care practice. The movement and fresh air and connecting with my family improve my overall well-being.
And if Adam isn’t able to go with us for whatever reason one day, I still load Evvy up in her little Doona Trike, pop in one AirPod so I can listen to worship music or an audiobook and we’re off.
Walks are SO versatile because you can take kids of all ages with you and they can be as long or as short as you want.
Just because a walk feels simple, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t count. If walks make you feel better mentally and/or physically then they are absolutely part of self-care! Remember, there’s no wrong way to practice self-care.
05: Enjoy a hobby during nap time.
A few months ago, we transitioned to one nap a day and it’s usually between 12/12:30-2:30/3 – so a nice little chunk. I spend the first 20ish minutes doing things that need to be done (answering an email, tidying up from lunch, etc.) and then the rest of Everly’s nap time is when I like to rest and enjoy my hobbies.
When Everly was born, I thought that nap time meant that I needed to be productive. That I needed to be doing laundry, my HS5 tidy for 15, etc. Now, I’ve changed my mindset and way of doing things – I actually prefer to do my cleaning when Everly is awake because I like for her to see what it means to take care of our space.
She “helps” me fold laundry or put her toys away.
The truth is, I can do chores and stuff when Everly is awake. Sure, they take longer when she’s helping me but I can’t really relax and do my hobbies when she’s awake. So I’d rather use the time she’s napping to do what I can’t do when she’s awake… aka my hobbies and rest.
My personal favorite hobby and a big form of rest and self-care for me is reading fiction.
Reading is so good for my anxiety and I honestly just really enjoy it. I mean hello, why do you think I started a book club for us? Shout out to my That’s What She Read Book Club girlies… we’re reading Emily Henry’s new book, Funny Story, this month and so I’ve been reading that during nap time this month!
Enjoy a hobby during nap time, okay moms?
06: Find your equivalent of self-care Fridays.
I’ve shared this on Instagram many, many times but it’s been such a game-changer for my family so I wanted to include it here, too!
Fridays are my day to focus on self-care and Adam gets to spend quality time with Everly.
Saturdays are Adam’s day to focus on self-care and I get to spend quality time with Everly.
This works wonders for Adam and I – he and I were recently talking about how it helps us from feeling burned out, helps us maintain a sense of self, and helps us to be really present and enjoy time with each other and with Everly.
He’s told a few of his friends about our self-care routine and pretty much all of them are like “wow that’s amazing, gonna ask my wife if we can do something like that.”
And I’ve chatted with quite a few of y’all in Instagram DMS and you’ve told me that you’ve taken our self-care days and figured out a way to make them work for you and your family.
Some ideas I’ve heard from the Hustle Sanely community:
~ Mom gets Saturday mornings for self-care and dad gets Saturday afternoons for self-care
~ Mom gets Sunday nights for self-care and dad gets Saturday nights for self-care
~ Mom gets the first Saturday afternoon of the month for self-care and her bestie watches her kid and her bestie gets the third Saturday afternoon of the month and mom watches bestie’s kid
Having regular, scheduled time that is dedicated to focusing on just taking care of me, whatever that looks like every week, truly makes me the healthiest version of myself.
Of course, I can’t make this happen on my own… I have to reach out and ask for the support I need. When I presented self-care Fridays/Saturdays to Adam, I didn’t know how’d he’d feel so I was open to compromising if we needed to but he was down with the idea. I would have never known how he felt if I didn’t ask!
Like I said at the beginning – take my ideas and tweak them so they work for you!
Alright, y’all, that is what I’ve got for you today – some realistic self-care ideas for moms! Or like I said… honestly anyone who has a full life!
Let’s recap them real quick:
01: Give yourself 10-30 solo minutes in the morning.
02: Practice daily grounding and/or breathwork.
03: Elevate everyday experiences with self-care sprinkles.
04: Go on a walk.
05: Enjoy a hobby during nap time.
06: Find your equivalent of self-care Fridays.
If you decide to implement one (or more) of these into your routines, I would love to see them on Instagram so feel free to tag me at @jessmmassey!
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