What's the Enneagram and Why Is Everyone Obsessed?
I did a poll over on Instagram asking y’all to tell me what topics you want me to share and the Enneagram popped up approximately 10,000 times. Probably because I (along with tons of others) never shut up about it but ya know, it’s fine.
Disclaimer - I am not an Enneagram expert or coach. I’ve just been using it as a development and communication tool since 2018. So please, fact check me - don’t just take what I say here and consider yourself well-versed in all things Enneagram, okay?
Now I’m going to tell you that the Enneagram is quite intricate and we’re just going to scratch the surface here or we’ll be here all day BUT I am going to give you lots of resources that you can check out to further your exploring of the Enneagram, cool?
Think of this as Enneagram 101 - the basics. There are so many layers and moving parts when it comes to the Enneagram - I’m not even close to knowing it all. Learning about the Enneagram is a journey. I doubt you’ll ever wake up and know every single thing inside and out about it unless maybe you go on to become an Enneagram coach or something.
So what even is the Enneagram and also, what does it have to do with Hustling Sanely?
At its core, the Enneagram is a theory of a system made up of 9 personality types that are labeled 1-9) so like, type 1, type 2, type 3, etc. Chances are, as you learn the types, you’ll see a little of yourself in all of them, but one type should really stand out as one that you really resonate with. This is called your basic personality type.
Now I want to make something super clear here - the Enneagram is a tool. Period. It’s not a religion. It’s not something to live and die by. It’s not meant to put you in a box (in fact, it’s meant to help you bust out of a box if you use it correctly). It’s not meant to be something that you use to judge people by. It’s a tool that allows you to understand underlying motives that you’ve had since childhood.
The main reasons I’m obsessed with the Enneagram are:
It’s allowed me to recognize patterns (both healthy and healthy, conscious and unconscious) that are in my life, based on my thoughts and choices. Being aware of these patterns allows me to either lean into them or figure out how to shift them. So in a nutshell, it’s elevated my self-awareness and my ability to grow as a human. It’s taught me not only what I’m doing but WHY I’m doing it - which is so important if you’re wanting to make transformational changes at the root of something rather than just a quick Bandaid-like fix.
It’s allowed me to recognize patterns (again both healthy and healthy, conscious and unconscious) that are happening in the lives of people in my life. So in a nutshell, it’s elevated my ability to empathize and communicate with others.
Elevated self-awareness, a heightened sense of empathy, and more effective communication are all outcomes of my exploration of the Enneagram and all of these lead to overall growth and maturity. Knowing my type does not put me in a box - it’s helped me break out of boxes actually, because it helps me be self-aware and have an understanding of why I do things a certain way. This allows me to recognize patterns and redirect unhealthy ones. It applies to my loved ones too - knowing their type and being educated on that type allows me to understand why they do or say or interpret things in certain ways which makes it easier for me to show grace and be more compassionate and empathetic.
It’s really improved my communication skills and has allowed me to detach from operating out of emotion.
Y’all know that Hustling Sanely is all about honoring our time and energy and pursuing our dreams without sacrificing our mental health and relationships. The Enneagram points to that by equipping us to pick up on potentially unhealthy habits and adjust them so that they’re healthy - on a self-level and on a communication with others level.
Several more points can be made about the basic type itself and these from The Enneagram Institute website so know that the next 6 points are not my own:
People do not change from one basic personality type to another.
The descriptions of the personality types are universal and apply equally to males and females, since no type is inherently masculine or feminine.
Not everything in the description of your basic type will apply to you all the time because you fluctuate constantly among the healthy, average, and unhealthy traits that make up your personality type.
The Enneagram uses numbers to designate each of the types because numbers are value neutral— they imply the whole range of attitudes and behaviors of each type without specifying anything either positive or negative.
The numerical ranking of the types is not significant. A larger number is no better than a smaller number; it is not better to be a Nine than a Two because nine is a bigger number.
No type is inherently better or worse than any other.
Some important stuff to note: each type has core fears, desires, and sins. And each type has healthy, average, and unhealthy ranges of how you’re operating.
Take a second and Google “Enneagram” and click images - you can see the symbol and how it’s made up of all the numbers and a bunch of lines. As you learn more about the Enneagram, you’ll learn that these lines point to where each type goes during stress and where each type goes during rest.
I also want to mention 2 other things before I explain the 9 types.
Subtypes:
Now being transparent here, this is a piece of the Enneagram that I’m still learning about myself - as in I’m not super familiar with the subtypes.
Here’s what I do know (and you can find more info in the resources I have linked below for you): each type has 3 distinct instinctual variants referred to as subtypes. So this basically helps explain how 2 people, who seem completely different, personality-wise, can both be a type 2, for example. Subtypes help give us distinction around what motivates us.
The 3 subtypes are sexual, self-preservation, and social.
Sexual: This subtype is not what it sounds like - it’s focused on one-to-one connections. They tend to seek deep connections and intense experiences.
Self-preservation: This subtype is focused on physical safety and comfort. They tend to spend significant time worrying about the comfort of their environment and how their needs are going to be met (like shelter, food, healthy, etc).
Social: This subtype is focused on the desire to be liked. They tend to spend significant time focusing on how they are being received by others.
Wings:
Wings refer to the two types on either side of your dominant type. You can research more about wings on The Enneagram Institute website, but a common mistake I see is that people classify their wing as something that isn’t possible. Your wing has to be one of the 2 numbers on either side of your enneagram type. So I could be a 3 w 2 or a 3 w 4 but not a 3 w 9.
We all tap into the strengths and weaknesses of both of our wings but typically people resonate with one wing more so than the other.
Okay so now that we’ve laid some solid groundwork, let’s talk about the 9 types:
I got all of these descriptions from the Enneagram Institute website. And then at the end of each type, I’m going to share a name that The Honest Enneagram book gives each type - she kind of approaches the Enneagram from a more, I guess, positive light so her names are super encouraging for each type. We’ll talk more about her book in a bit.
1: The Reformer
The Rational, Idealistic Type: Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and Perfectionistic
The Honest Enneagram books calls type 1s: Champion of Good
2: The Helper
The Caring, Interpersonal Type: Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, and Possessive
The Honest Enneagram books calls type 2s: Hidden Warrior
3: The Achiever
The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious
The Honest Enneagram books calls type 3s: Empowering Motivator
4: The Individualist
The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental
The Honest Enneagram books calls type 4s: Meaning Maker
5: The Investigator
The Intense, Cerebral Type: Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated
The Honest Enneagram books calls type 5s: Sound Counsel
6: The Loyalist
The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious
The Honest Enneagram books calls type 6s: Trusted Integrator
7: The Enthusiast
The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, and Scattered
The Honest Enneagram books calls type 7s: Illuminator of Possibility
8: The Challenger
The Powerful, Dominating Type: Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational
The Honest Enneagram books calls type 8s: Defender of Justice
9: The Peacemaker
The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent
The Honest Enneagram books calls type 9s: Secret Guru
Now I bet you’re wondering, “Cool, but how do I find out my type?”
I’ve heard a lot of Enneagram experts say that self-typing before taking a test is always encouraged. I know for me, when I read through the descriptions of all the types, the 3 jumped out at me right away. That’s not always the case for everyone though. I took the paid test over on The Enneagram Institute website after I self typed. The RHETI® is what it’s called. There are a lot of free test floating around out there too but I was willing to pay the $12 because I wanted the accompanying report, and I wanted to take a legit one.
I saw a post on Instagram by @ashton.creates that broke down finding out your type into 4 steps:
Research (each number)
Read (deeper into the numbers you resonate with most - note: you need to fully resonate with the core sin of a number for it to be your type)
Reflect (after you determine your type)
Dive into resources (my faves below)
And in case you don’t know and you’re curious, I am a 3, The Achiever, with a wing 4.
So a 3 wing 4.
Now I want to make sure to send you off with some of my go-to Enneagram resources:
Book: The Honest Enneagram - great place to start. It’s a very condensed breakdown of each type and it’s really approachable and digestible.
Fave Enneagram IG accounts: @ashton.creates, @enneagramandmemes, @chalkandleaves
Sleeping at Last Playlist on Spotify - he wrote a song for each type and DANG talk about being hit in the feels - I literally cried my eyes out when I heard the 3 song and Adam, my husband, is a type 2 and he also cried when he heard his song - and let me tell you, we’ve been together since 2006 and I can count on both times how many times I’ve seen him cry if that tells you anything. The songs are super powerful!
Okay, friends, I know this was a TON of info but hopefully it gave you some major insight on what the Enneagram is and how you can use it to help you Hustle Sanely! If you want to listen in on this conversation, you can listen to episode 036 of The Hustle Sanely Podcast:
*Some links may be affiliate links.