Want Better Work/Life Balance?
Looking to achieve better work/life balance? Today’s post will teach you what work/life balance is and how you can life in alignement.
A question that I get asked pretty much every single say in the Instagram DMs: How do I achieve better work/life balance?
I’m gonna be very blunt and honest and to the point here: I don’t think work/life balance is a real thing, lol. It’s this coveted concept and it’s a unicorn type thing that people put on a pedestal and seem to spin their wheels chasing after.
But really, if you think about what the word balance means, you’ll probably agree with me that having true work/life balance isn’t a thing.
If you pull up dictionary.com and read the definition for balance, it says: an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.
Realistically, your work and your personal life are not ever going to be equally yoked. What I mean by that is the chance of your spending the exact same amount of time and energy on your work life and on your personal life at all times is slim to none. And that’s the only way to truly achieve balance, right? When 2 things are even distributed. I think of those balance beam things that we used to use in math class in elementary school. I really hope y’all know what I’m talking about - if not just think about a tabletop balance scale. Picture your personal life being one side and your work life being the other side - what would it really take to have that balance beam perfectly level at all times? We are constantly taking things away, adding things, shifting things around and so it would be really dang hard to keep both sides equal all the time.
Sometimes work requires more of your time and energy and sometimes life requires more of your time and energy. That’s okay!
But don’t worry - you know I’m not going to tell you that work/life balance doesn’t exist and then just leave you hanging!
I don’t think work/life balance is worth pursuing since it doesn’t really exist in a sustainable way so instead we’re going to talk about 2 things that I go by instead of seeking work/life balance:
Seasons
Alignment
We’ll talk more about these in just a bit but first, I want you to think about what you mean when you say work/life balance. Like let’s get to the root of what you’re actually seeking when you say you want better work/life balance.
I think most people say they want it but they can’t really define it. It’s one of those things we all say because 1. We hear other people saying it all the time and 2. We don’t know what else to call what we’re seeking. I mean I’m totally with you - I called what I wanted work/life balance for a long time before finally understanding that wasn’t really what it was.
When we spend so much effort mentally trying to separate work and life, we put this weird pressure on ourselves to show up in a very specific, almost confining way. I made a mindset switch to instead focus on how I want my life to feel overall.
Instead of calling it work/life balance, I call it “living in alignment.”
I want to read you the definition of alignment since I read you the definition of balance earlier. Dictionary.com tells us that alignment means: a position of agreement or alliance.
So being in alignment means that your life is going the direction you want it to go, feeling how you want it to feel, and lined up with morals and values that you have established as important to you. I want my life to feel: peaceful, purposeful, and joyful. So I make sure that my days, whether I’m working or doing personal stuff, point back to those words. I encourage you to think of 3-5 words that you want your life to feel like and exude.
Y’all everything, at its core, starts with our mindset. When we call it “living in alignment” instead of work/life balance - we are less likely to feel like we are failing or doing something wrong. We can just make shifts and tweaks along the way and we’ll be doing so from a place of grace instead of from a place of guilt or shame, you know?
Next, I want to take a second to talk about seasons. Seasons are another reason why I don’t believe that work/life balance exists.
You guys, seasons are part of life. You are going to walk through different things during different times in your life and it’s important to learn how to navigate and honor each season well. It’s unrealistic to think that you are going to be popping out of bed each and every morning for the rest of your life and feeling perfectly aligned in all areas of your life all the time.
~ Maybe you’re pregnant and working full time and TIRED AS HECK when you get home from work and need to prioritize rest for a season.
~ Maybe you’re working 2 jobs and earning your master’s degree so you have to put your social commitments on the back burner for a season.
~ Maybe you just started the business of your dreams and you’re working 60 hour weeks while you’re getting it off the ground so you have to lean into the season of hustle.
Whatever season that you’re in - recognize it. Honor it. Commit to it. And make sure that you have a plan so that you don’t live there forever. That’s the thing with seasons - they don’t last forever.
So if you find yourself not happy with your air quote “work/life balance” then you might need to evaluate what kind of season you’re in, how long you’ve been in it, and what you can do to shift into a new one.
Your life is going to look different depending on your season which means it’s probably going to feel different too. This is where alignment comes in - what do you need in this season and how can you get that? Being aware of your season empowers you to navigate it well. Embrace what season you’re in right now and know that you won’t be in it forever.
So what it comes down to is figure out what you mean when you say you want work/life balance. Explicitly define what that looks and feels like for you.
Quick example, my husband pointed out that my work is my happy place. So of course, I want to work 40-50 hours a week even though I own my own business. I find joy in what I do for work. Living in alignment for me, includes working more than the average person because of that. As long as I’m not sacrificing my mental health and relationships in lieu of working, I’m cool with that because it’s what I want.
Next, you need to figure out what season you’re in, and if you’re in an intense work season then you’ve got to tack an end date onto that season. Sometimes, end dates are created for you, like graduation, for example is a set end date to being in school. But if the end date isn’t set for you, you need to commit to setting one and sticking to it.
I am currently coming out of a really intense work season. I knew that April-July would be really work/heavy for me because of some new products that are coming out (which by the way, I got to see the sample for the paper planner last week and WOW ALL THE TEARS - you can see a sneak peek on IGTV if you missed it!) but I knew April-July would be work heavy so I told my husband ahead of time (because communicating seasons, boundaries, and expectations is vital) and tacked the end date of mid-July onto the work heavy season. Moving into mid-July, personal life will be getting more attention and energy than work. I’m still going to be working 35-40 hours a week but I won’t be pulling 60-65 hour weeks anymore.
Instead, I’ll be focusing my best time and energy on going on vacation, celebrating birthdays, and just getting in good quality time with my people.
I did want to leave y’all with 3 tangible things you can do to live more in alignment:
1. Set boundaries. Last week’s episode was all about how to set healthy boundaries so give that a listen if you missed it because that’s really important when it comes to living in alignment!
2. Keep the main thing the main thing. Stop letting every little thing pull you away from what you’re working toward. The boundaries that you set will help you with that!
3. Let go of perfectionism. This one can be tough, I know. But here’s the thing, give your best energy to your top priorities and then be okay with doing an okay job with other things. I’m telling you to do a half job, but I’m telling you to be okay with good not great sometimes. This is something I’m still practicing myself. Being okay with the non-priorities being done but not necessarily done immaculately. Give yourself permission to not spread yourself too thin by letting go of perfectionism.
So your big takeaway here? Replace the phrase work/life balance with “living in alignment” and explicitly define what that means to you and what it looks like!
If you enjoyed this post, tune into episode 040 of The Hustle Sanely Podcast to listen into this topic!
