How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty (Free Focus Web)
Do you ever struggle with saying NO? Maybe you’re afraid you’ll let someone down or cause someone to get upset but here’s the deal, sister…no is NOT a cuss word.
In fact, it’s the opposite. It needs to be a commonly used word in your vocabulary.
Saying NO to one thing is saying YES to another. Just like the reverse is true: saying YES to one thing is saying NO to another.
It’s important for us to regularly take inventory of where our time and energy are going.
Are the things that you are giving your yeses to life-giving? Or are they draining you?
Are they bringing you closer to your goals? Or are they pulling you away from them?
For example, let’s say your goal in this season is to be really present for your family.
That means that you’re going to have to say NO if work asks for more than what’s required.
That means you’re going to have to say NO if your church asks you to volunteer 3 nights a week.
That means you’re going to have to say NO to going out with your girlfriends every single weekend.
These aren’t negative nos.
These nos are allowing you to say YES to your family.
YES to volunteering in your kiddo’s classroom to prepare for the fall carnival.
YES to going on an extra date with your husband every week.
YES to baking cookies with your sweet grandma on a random Thursday night.
Another example, maybe your main priority in this season is turning your side hustle into your full-time gig (hey-o, that’s AMAZING, and did ya know that part of my job is coming alongside women as a mindset + strategy coach and helping them craft an action plan to make their dreams happen? Just saying…).
That means that most of your yeses are going to be aimed at work-related tasks.
You’re going to have to say NO to sitting on the couch to binge watch The Bachelor with your BFF because you need that 2 hours to write the copy for your new website. You’re going to have to say NO to laying by the pool after brunch because you need that time to shoot product photos so you can list the items in your shop.
In my Hustle Sanely Coaching Program, I have my clients take inventory of their time for an ENTIRE week. Yep. Every 15 minutes for 7 days straight they write down what they’re doing. They totally love/hate me for it. But I’m cool with that because so many breakthroughs and realizations happen.
It’s always extremely eye-opening for them to see:
How much they fit into a day
How much time they waste in a day
The purpose of the focus web is to help you see what things are going to be worth your time in your current season. It can be tough to hand something a NO when it seems fun, shiny, and exciting. But sometimes we have to say no to good so we can prepare for great.
I created a FOCUS WEB as a tool for myself and I shared it over on the gram.
A few babes reached out and thanked me for sharing it and asked if I could create a template for them to make their own…UM HECK YEAH I CAN.
Here is a look at mine:
This focus web is for my business. It tells me what content I can say YES to and what product creation I can say YES to.
If it’s not on here, it’s a NO.
Why? Because the things on my focus web are the parts of my business that I’m wanting to grow. These are the things that I want to be putting my energy into. If I’m putting my energy into other opportunities (even good ones, people!) I am taking myself away from doing these things the best that I can.
I tend to see things that other people are doing and I get REALLY excited and want to somehow incorporate it into my business and then I end up having an overflowing plate of things that are done halfway and it’s just not a good situation.
Using a focus web helps me stay focused and not reach at distracting things.
You can use the focus web to help you decide what to say no to. And you can say no confidently because you know that it’s not on the web aka it will not get you closer to your goals in this life season. I recommend creating a new web every actual season (fall, winter, spring, summer) so that you can reassess and tweak as your life shifts.
Now when you deliver nos, you can be honest and confident in telling someone that what they’re asking you to do does not align with your goals in this season. No one can get mad at you for protecting your time and energy. If anything, they should respect you for that!
I created 3 FOCUS WEB TEMPLATES that y’all can download and use. Feel free to print out which one works best for you or you can even use them digitally (y’all know I’m about that digital life).
Click here to download the PDF of the webs. I tried to think of 3 different ones that would apply to different seasons. Here is what they look like:
Activities for me + activities for others = for when you’re focusing on family
Say yes to + say no to = broad template for any season
Content + products = for when you’re focusing on work
Let me know down below if the FOCUS WEB method helps you stay on track and ditch distractions. I’d love to hear your testimonies!