What To Do When Your Dreams Don't Go According to Plan
Y’all know I love a good game plan. I mean hello, I help women create them for a living, lol. But here’s the thing with dreams and plans and goals - you’ve got to hold them loosely.
Whether you’ve gone full force toward your dream and it flopped OR you are pursuing one dream and you discover another and your path changes, in this episode, I’m going to be sharing some encouragement and advice for you!
Today we’re talking about how to navigate your dreams not going according to plan!
Before we go any further, I’ve got to share something that has been on my heart for the last few weeks. I spent most of December creating the Dream It. Do It. Workshop and so I did a lot of digging around in my heart thinking about what dreams actually are.
A dream is not your identity. It’s a tool. A dream is a vehicle that allows you to use your gifts to serve others.
Here’s the thing - we are equipped for what we are called to do. Each and every one of us was created with unique gifts (God knows what He’s doing 😉) - we were created on purpose for a purpose. It’s freeing to know that we don’t have to run ourselves into the ground striving to figure out what our dreams are. We just have to lean into our gifts and serve others with them. Here is your permission to stop getting hung up on figuring your dream out just for the sake of having something to pursue. And hey, maybe your dream didn’t pan out because it wasn’t your dream to pursue.
Sometimes we cling so tightly to dreams just because they popped up on the surface of our hearts. We sometimes forget to take the time and energy to be INTENTIONAL with how we are dreaming. We’ve got to go deeper with our dreams and make sure that our hearts are in the right place.
If we are clinging so tightly to dreams that aren’t really ours, we may miss an opportunity to pursue a dream that we are totally equipped for, that aligns with our life vision, and that allows us to make an impact with our gifts!
Let me give you an example > My job looks NOTHING like I thought it would 😅 And I’M GLAD, lol. When I was little and people asked what I wanted to do when I grew up there were 2 answers that lingered in my heart:
⋒ An author
⋒ A teacher
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Now, as a 30-something woman, I get paid to write & teach:
~ I run a group coaching program where I teach women how to be peacefully productive
~ I create planning tools + courses that help women define their priorities so they can show up well for their lives
~ I write podcast scripts, emails, blog posts, and Instagram captions.
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How cool that I get to write & teach for a living but it looks nothing like what I thought being a teacher and/or author would look like? Here’s the thing with dreams - we can’t stifle them. Stop trying to cram your dream into a traditional one size fits all box if it doesn’t work for you.
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👉🏼 Do you love cooking?
You have more options than working in a restaurant.
You could start a food truck or meal delivery service.
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👉🏼 Are you gifted in decorating?
You have more options than working at a commercial interior design firm.
You could start an interior design blog or a biz where you help teachers design beautifully functional classrooms.
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Don’t box your dreams in. Be in tune with your passions + gifts but allow them space to come alive in ways you may not have originally thought of. Seek to align your gifts with purpose through service & I can almost guarantee you’ll be peacefully pursuing a dream that’s better than you ever could’ve imagined 💕
Go back to the drawing board and make sure that what you were pursuing met the SWI of the SWITCH Goal Mapping Method we talked about in last week’s podcast episode. Little recap:
S: specific
W: why attached
I: impact-driven
Was your dream specific? Did you know why you were working toward it? And the big question - was it impact-driven? Y’all - impact-driven goals are not only more fulfilling than self-seeking ones, but you don’t view them as “achieved” or “failed” - you’re more focused on the impact that you’re making. To turn your dream into an impact-driven one, brainstorm how you can use your gifts to make an impact in your community (online communities totally count). Girl, getting clear on your dream isn’t a wild goose chase. It’s a scavenger hunt. Take one step at a time and allow it to open your heart to more. Each step is a clue to the next step after that.
You know I can’t go without giving you some tangible action steps. So I actually have my Dream It. Do It. Workshop Workbook pulled out because I want to share a few exercises with you to help you shift your heart from being self-seeking to impact-driven when it comes to uncovering your gifts and getting clear on your dreams.
I want you to journal and/or think through these questions if you feel like your dream has failed or if you feel like you’re really detached from what you’re pursuing:
What does success mean to you? What does it actually look like?
What are 3-5 things that make you lose track of time? How can you serve people through each one of those things?
What are you the “go-to” girl for in your circle? What do people come to you for? (Not sure? Ask a friend!)
Is the dream you’re pursuing now aligned with the vision you have for you life? As in does it align with your values? Does it align with your gifts? Are you in a season of life where you can pursue it well (as in you have the time, energy, and money to give it)?
Are you considering your dream a fail because you’re either comparing your journey to someone else’s or because you’re trying to hurry your way through it by skipping crucial growth-inducing steps?
Not everyone who becomes a doctor has the same journey to being a doctor right? Sure, they all go to med school but their journeys to get to med school all look completely different. The way you pursue your dream, even if your dream looks similar to someone else’s, doesn’t have to match their journey.
If you feel defeated or bummed out that your dream didn’t go as planned, be reminded that your dream is not your identity. It’s a tool that allows you to share your gifts with the world. Shift your heart posture to be focused on making an impact and I promise you that your dreams will become clearer. You’ll be consumed with changing people’s lives instead of worrying about whether or not you accomplished something.
Remember - the day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit. The investments you’re making with your time and energy today will pay off. The work you did yesterday is why you’re here today. The work you do today is why you’ll be where you are tomorrow.
Are you ready to get clear on your dream and create a plan to make it happen? I’ve got good news for you - I created the Dream It. Do. It Workshop to help you do just that!
In the workshop, you get a 23-page workbook and 10 coaching videos where I’m walking you through exactly how you can dig your dream out of your heart and peacefully pursue it. Stop saying someday and start making real progress on a goal that matters today 💕
If you enjoyed this post, tune into episode 063 of The Hustle Sanely Podcast to listen into this topic!
